The biggest change in lifestyle when two people get divorced is financially, and it is also the most obvious. In fact, finances are often a reason that some couples stay together as long as they do. But, when it gets to a point where keeping the marriage together is no longer an option, the couple needs to be prepared for some pretty major upheavals to their financial status.
When you get divorced everything is divided into two parts. Sometimes equally and sometimes not. At least one party moves out of the marital home, which means they must find a new place to live that is affordable within their budget, furnish it and make sure it is large enough to accommodate any children that come to stay there from the marriage. There are also times when the marital home needs to be sold and both people need to relocate.
Things to Consider
Some things to consider that would change are that you might not be able to afford to live in the same school district that you lived in once before. You might not be able to afford to have enough rooms for each child to have their own space. You might not be able to afford to buy and have to rent. All of these things are huge changes, not only for the couple, but for the children.
If you were a stay-at-home parent, now that you are re-singled, you might have to go out and get either a full-time or part-time job. The bills need to be paid every month, food needs to be put on the table and clothes on the backs of all of those living in your home. Things that were small and insignificant, such as the cost of after school activities, are no longer small and insignificant, but can present major changes in a budget that you have set out for yourself for the month.
If you are the parent that pays child support, your expenses are even greater. You not only have to pay your monthly support for children that live with you part-time, but you also have to pay your own expenses as well as the expenses of the children when they do live with you. You are paying almost twice as much being divorced as you were when you were married. And, you aren’t earning more income.
If you are the parent receiving child support, that support is meant for your children and not for you, and it will not cover the cost of living for you. You will need to find a way to cover those expenses, as well as things the child support will not cover, because it won’t cover every single expense for the children. It is scary to take financial responsibility for yourself, but when you are re-singled, it is also necessary.
How do you make it work?
Good budgeting and good money sense. You have to realize before you make the leap from divorced to re-singled that you will have a change in lifestyle that will be dramatic. You also need to have thought out what your budget will be, how you can invest and save for your children’s future, what is your portion of raising the kids, how you will support yourself and what is important to you materialistically that you can give up or not live without.
These are all big decisions in the divorce process and need to be thought through carefully, because once you are no longer a couple, you are no longer financially responsible for each other, just the children.
Wanting to End Your Relationship? Check this out…
Ever want to just start over and just end your relationship? You go your way they go their way and life is good. The idea of having a clean slate excites you and you hope it will be better next time?
I so get this and get the itch every 6 years.
It’s easy to think (key word think) that this will work and you’ll be happy in your next relationship. Most likely the same scenario will show up but look different.
If you’ve done this you know exactly what I am talking about.
There is a reason this does not work. A big reason…
Your Inner World Reflects Your Outer World
You may be thinking I already know this. If you don’t mind kick that thought to the curb and step into the conversation like a beginner. Let’s begin with a change in relationship with your thoughts and ego. Your ego is sneaky and wants you to stay the same.
Then it (ego) goes out and wants to change everyone else or start over so you can think it will be different next time. Don’t do it. It’s a trap.
You want to shift the way you relate to your thoughts, your inner world to create real change that lasts. Otherwise you will be 80 doing the same thing just the actors are different. The only real relationship you are ever in is with yourself and what ever you believe in. May that be god, the universe or some other form of divine intelligence.
Change what you pay attention to and change your world. Click to tweet this if you agree.
Get Close and Personal with Yourself.
Recently, I was working with a client and she was giving me every excuse that she had to leave her marriage. Her list of what was wrong with her partner was a long one. All of her attention was on what was not working. She was in conflict with herself and her fears that were out-picturing as her man was not the one for her. She wanted to end it, move and start over.
After she went through the following questions she saw she had to change the relationship to herself in order to make it work. Otherwise no matter where she would go the same pattern would show up.
What you must do now is put this into action.
Because you are a soul with a mission to wake up I know you are ready to change your paradigm.
1. Leave a comment sharing your insights and how you can shift the relationship with yourself first. Then tell me where are you holding back because of fear.
2. Share this post on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn to help spread this message. 3. Have any thoughts on this post tell me those too… Don’t hold back we are in this together.